Recently, I’ve been watching and listening to a lot of women leaders. Some of them play on the big stage of major corporations, some are small business owners and some lead from home. Whatever the environment, I’ve found some things in common.
I’ve found some commonalities…we, women, apologize for a LOT of crap.
Someone bumps into THEM…”I’m sorry!”
“I’m sorry, I have a quick question…”
“Oh, I’m sorry I spoke for so long and there is no time for Q & A!”
And on top of that, there is this sneaky other word that comes into our language…”just”
“Just checking in to see if you are going to deliver…”
“Hey there…just wanting to know if you are on your way over…”
“I’m not mad, I’m just letting you know…”
It’s getting under my skin. I hear it as apologizing for taking up space…taking up time…living our lives! I even heard this from women who run two major corporations.
I’m sure it is unconscious. Most women I know do not, in fact, wander around being truly sorry for taking up space. But our language says otherwise. And, I get that it’s nice to soften language so that the receiver can hear it. That’s NOT what bugs me.
Even as I write this I’ve had to check myself a few times because I naturally go to “Oh, I better soften this so I don’t piss people off.” THAT bugs me!
What if…what if I did not censor anything? What if women did not second guess our dreams, our wants, our desires? What if we actually CHOSE to piss people off? What if…
I’m sorry…I’m just sayin’…